My Heart Belongs to JESUS

You came from heaven to take my place on this earth 
And died for me to show what I’m really worth 
You took it all and paid the price to set me free 
My God You did it all for me 

So if I fail to bring you praise. For love you sent to take my place 
I’ve realized that I can never give enough 
So with a cry from this heart of mine I lay it all, I lay this life 
And I pray Lord that it’s your will not mine…

Cause everything that you are to me 
Is everything I hope for 
Your grace keeps me still to face the storms 
Lord please have your way 
Lord have your way in me 

When September Ends...

September 29,2010

          It was my 19th birthday.. I woke up early because I was supposed to go back in my school town, Iligan City. I am in my home town for a week because my grandpa died and I have to attend his burial. My family is still mourning but we have to move on and continue living our life. I am a struggling  4th year Engineering student and my school is about 8 hours land travel from my home. So I have to leave. 

            But my parents are begging me not to leave. Its been 3 years that I haven't spent my birthday with them and they would not let me spend this special day traveling on the bus..... and so i stayed. We celebrated my birthday happily together with my seven best friends who made me really surprised of their presence. We had an overnight party at my friend's house and it was so much fun! 

September 30,2010

            It's almost 5am when I found myself still so much awake and busy checking all the greetings on my phone and my facebook. And then at 6am, the alarm rings and i have to wake them up because 3 of us have to travel back to school at 8am. Then exchanging hugs and kisses to say goodbye!
           Paaaack Uuuuup!! And ready to go.. My father and my 4years old niece accompanied me to the bus terminal and we were riding on a motorcycle. We left home at exactly 7:45 in the morning. On the National Highway, it was a sudden baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!!!! I fell on the ground. Everything was in slow motion. I looked around and I saw wheels moving towards me. I shouted so loooooooooooooouuud. Crying for help. Im still not sure what is happening and if this is for real? Until I saw my niece stood up crying and looking at me. And my father rushing towards me. I cant move. And then there..... i saw my broken leg..... I was so shocked..... I cant believe its mine......... It was twisted 180 degrees making my left sneaker facing back. I cried even louder when i saw it. Im barely breathing. They rushed me to the hospital. I was just so calm on the way. I just prayed and prayed and prayed... For the first time in my life I saw my father crying and it breaks me even more. My brother came and he just shout and cried so loud. My entire relatives follow and they are crying too. Everyone  is crying and i stayed calm. I know in my heart that God saved me and He sent lots of angels beside me. There's nothing I can do that moment aside from praying.

           And then I heard the ambulance.. They will transfer me to the City Hospital for surgery. There is pain in every rough road. I want to cry but it would just hurt them.I  have to be strong. The operation will be at 4pm so I have to stay on my private room and gosh its on the third floor and there's no elevator at all. Every move hurts me and i just cant help but cry out loud.

         True friends came along. My family are all there. Im still so scared so I prayed harder. I felt so tired. and very hungry. No breakfast, no lunch, no water. The moment they have to bring me in the operating room was like a movie. As the door closed i still heard all of them.."kreh be strong", "joy pag pray lang ha"... everything in slow motion.
         I was lying on the surgical bed and was staring at the clock across me. 4:10pm to be exact. The doctor said that the operation will last for just two hours.After the Anesthesiologist injected anesthesia on me, i look at my arms extended to the armholes and that's it, I close my eyes and I fell asleep.

        When i woke up, i thought it was just seconds since I closed my eyes. The first thing i saw was the clock. 10 minutes before 12o'clock. I wasn't in the operating room anymore. A man approached me... "Maam ok ka na? "... I asked for basin because i felt dizzy. But before he came back, i fell asleep again. And then i woke up again! Three men besides me and they said in native language; "Maam ibalhin na namo ka sa imong private room". I paused for a moment... "wow...i survived..." Exactly 12:00 midnight they moved me out of the Recovery Room. While on the way to the room, i did the math.. And found out that it was not actually 2 hours as what the doctor said but it was 8 hours. 

And there on my private room. My dearest Lola, Mama, and Papa whom i think fell asleep waiting for me. There tears turns into a smile. And so I was. Remember Green Day hit song: Wake me up when September Ends? For me it means that the darkness is over. I Praise God for Everything

First of the best christmas I will ever had!

It was January 8, 2010 when I finally entered a boy-girl relationship. After 18 years of living I finally met the one I've been praying for. He is Kre, (yes we've been sharing the same nick name) he is my course mate, then classmate, then barkada, and eventually we became best friends. He is the only person out there who enrich my life in a way that no one else can. He came at the time i least expected but it was truly the perfect timing for both of us. We are blessed because even if people see us as boyfriends, the "best friend" treat to each other remained constant.  and respect follows. We never attempted to hide this relationship to our family. His family honors me and so was my family to him. 

What really made this relationship strong is that it's not just the two of us but we're actually three! Not a third party but one person that every relationship should have. It is Jesus Christ. God is Love. So when we say Kre love Kreh, its actually Kre-God-Kreh.

A dream come true!

It's been almost a year when i finally came out of the shell. char! it was my first time in college to compete for a popdance competition. I was fortunate to represent our course in our College Foundation week. It was a dream come true for me! I wish i could still dance despite of my fractured femur. Soon when God allows it to happen. 

    

blessed.

First Post

Hello blog spot! I am glad to have an account here. I've been writing into diaries way back to my younger years. And I could testify that it really helped a lot.  It molds me into a better person and helps me recognize the bad attitudes that i should not tolerate. More than the words written, what i like in diaries is that I can freely share the emotions I have. Whether its happiness, victory, pain, sorrow or disappointments, i will never be ashamed to write it down. and in the end, it would still be me who will realize the things that i should not have done. and there later help me decide not to do it again.